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Susan Maria Baker: An Intro
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Susan Maria Baker walked down the corridor with a sigh. She once more flipped her glowing blond locks over her shoulder carelessly. Her eyes, violet, as earlier mentioned, were such a color due mainly to a mix-up with spells when she was younger. Of course, she was quite possibly the most brilliant witch at Hogwarts, and was quite embarrassed of her past mistake.

But she found now that the violet eyes really did make her much more beautiful – not saying, of course, that she wouldn’t have been beautiful with any color of eyes. Oh, no. She was the very definition of beauty. All women wanted to be her, and all the guys wanted to be with her.

Her hair was long, blond, and shining, always worn down. It caught the sunlight in such a way as to make her appear to glow. It fell gracefully to her waist, and had just the perfect curl at the end – save for the curl, it was straight. Her bangs were long-ish, just falling to her eyebrows, and were dyed violet, complimenting her eyes in the most wonderful way possible.

Her face – oh, it looked like it had been carved by angels. Her eyes were – as I can’t seem to stop mentioning – violet, a deep color that made her seem like she had more depth than she had in reality. Her eyelashes were naturally long, and – of course – ideally curled so that when she batted those eyelashes – oh, the boys were under her spell! Her eyebrows were arched elegantly, giving her a pleasantly curious look, and the appearance of intelligence.

Her nose – goodness, it was amazingly perfect. Smack-dab in the center of her face, it flattered the rest of her appearance to such indescribable lengths.

Naturally rosy-red lips finish our description of her oh-so-lovely face – she held her lips in just the right way so that it always looked like she was smiling, and had that cute-little-pout, all at the same time. They were not thin, but not puffy either. They were perfect for kissing, in fact.

Moving down the body, her neck was slender and charming, once again giving the all-too-false appearance that she had some kind of superior intellect – oh, wait, no, scratch that – she IS the top of her class, mind you. The neck gave way to the shoulders, which were just broad enough to call attention to her in a crowded room, but just narrow enough to give her an overall wonderfully feminine appearance. Her breasts were round and – oh, gods above, I’m skipping this part.

Her waist looked like angels – angels? – pinched it in, so of course, it was naturally pleasing to the eye and gave her an all-too-disgustingly – I mean, -beautifully – womanly look. Then, arching pleasingly away from her waist were her hips, which were – okay, hips. I mean, not much to say about really. Except that they were PERFECT! In every sense of the word.

Her legs – oh, dear gods, her legs were long, slender, beautiful! Guys would kill to just get a glimpse of them, and women would die to have them – which kind of defeats the purpose, if you’re going to die after you get them. But nevermind the others – let’s get back to Susan and all her perfectness!

Her clothes – since, of course, she was still in Muggle garb and had yet to change into her school robes – were STUNNING! PERFECT! A TRUE VISIONARY! Her jeans were hugging her legs, hips, thighs, in just the right way to make her seem oh-so-sexy! There was a slice of perfectly pale, and yet tan skin which never got sunburned before the hem of her shirt – which was, of course, hugging her chest and torso and breasts – I mentioned they were perfect, right? – in a way that made every guy she passed swoon! And it was a tee-shirt! Only the oh-so-stupendously-perfect being named Susan Maria Baker could get away with that!

She, of course, had thirty-three – I mean, only three (whoa, going way overboard with this) – piercings on each ear, and each one was filled with a gold hoop, all of varying sizes – which would have looked terribly tacky on anyway except Mary-Sue – IMEAN Susan Maria Baker.

But… this perfect being could not be… all that perfect.

You see, her past… her past was filled with… with HORRORS! Horrors that no one else could even bear to comprehend! Oh, dear – horrors that just the thought of, make one tremble!

When she was born, she was born into slaver— okay, no she wasn’t. But she was born into hard times. Voldemort ruled the planet – okay, not really. But one night… when she was a year old… oh, gods in heaven above! Voldemort showed up on her doorstep… and KILLED HER PARENTS! What a poor thing…. She was taken in by dreadful muggle aunt and uncle, Petunia and Vernon – UM! No, I mean, Daisy and… and Bill. Yeah, Bill.

And there… there she was raised in a terrible environment. But, of course, despite the overwhelming oppression, she taught herself magic at a surprisingly young age. And then, she found a Time Turner.

So, due to surprisingly amusing mix-ups involving time travel, she’s:

Sirius Black’s cousin
Draco Malfoy’s half-sister
Dumbledore’s adopted daughter
Snape’s sister
Harry’s aunt
Dudley’s teacher
McGonagall’s niece
Hedwig’s mother
Neville’s second cousin
Hermione’s grandmother
Ron’s great-aunt
Mrs. Weasley’s knitting
A spoonful of sugar
A partridge in a pear tree
Lucius Malfoy’s ex-wife
Aladdin’s roommate
Rath’s sister-in-law
Chase Young’s ex-girlfriend
And Aragorn’s mother-in-law

As you can see, she’s been through a lot.

And this corridor she’s walking down is surprisingly long, isn’t it?



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